How Many Times Has THIS Happened To YOU
by InactiveAnon
Summary: A series of epic, RANDOM NARUTO STUFF...starting with teh fangirl and Otaku battle! WHY AM I WRITING THIS? WHAT'S WITH THE QUESTIONS? WHY MEOW MIX?humor crack fic.
1. Fangirls?

**How Many Times Has THIS Happened to YOU?**

_This Mock-umentary By:_

_.Blood.Engel.Yuzuki._

_This Chapter Co-Written By:_

_SakuratheDancer_

Summary: A series of epic, RANDOM NARUTO STUFF...starting with fangirl and/or Otaku battles! WHY AM I WRITING THIS?! WHAT'S WITH THE QUESTIONS?! humor crack fic.

I don't own Naruto(or the Twighlight Zone), and you know it!!!

One: Fangirls?

_(ENTER TWIGHLIGHT ZONE MUSIC)_

_Today, we walk into the world of boredom, Fangirls, and Otaku._

_The following contains graphic scenes of Fangirl-ism, Naruto-ism, Otaku-ism, Itachi being called Gay, and Orochimaru bashing!!! O.O_

_Viewer Disgression is Advised._

The scene is a school bus, and two bored Naruto watchers are riding home from the Museum of Natural Science and History, where they endured long hours of extream boredom and bored-ness.

Though this is based off true events, the names have been changed for their (...and your...) protection

U-No-WhO-I-aM: You know "Devil Wears Prada"? Well, the math teacher, Mrs. G is wearing glasses designed by Prada.

I-daNcE-I-daNcE-I-daNcE: Lolz!

(more random talk)

I-daNcE-I-daNcE-I-daNcE: Wanna come over today?

U-No-WhO-I-aM: Can't. Maybe tomorrow.

I-daNcE-I-daNcE-I-daNcE: Okay, that works perfect.

U-No-WhO-I-aM: W00T!

I-daNcE-I-daNcE-I-daNcE: W00T W00T!!!

U-No-WhO-I-aM: Uh...W00T to the exponent of 3?

I-daNcE-I-daNcE-I-daNcE: roflmaotih!

U-No-WhO-I-aM: ...What's tih stand for?

I-daNcE-I-daNcE-I-daNcE: 'Till it hurts.

U-No-WhO-I-aM:0 OH!!!!!!!

I-daNcE-I-daNcE-I-daNcE: rofl u funny XD

U-No-WhO-I-aM: Thanx...I try.

I-daNcE-I-daNcE-I-daNcE: I can tell.

U-No-WhO-I-aM: Yay.

I-daNcE-I-daNcE-I-daNcE: ...

U-No-WhO-I-aM: "Mmm...Doughnuts."

I-daNcE-I-daNcE-I-daNcE: roflmao! lmfao! (chuckles) Itachi is soooo GAY!

U-No-WhO-I-aM: Well...He DOES paint his nails! And he was in the same group as Orochimaru.

**SASUKE FANGIRL V.S. GAARA OTAKU-FANGIRL...THING...**

**ROUND ONE!**

**FIGHT!**

I-daNcE-I-daNcE-I-daNcE: rofl That's true. Did you know... SASUKE IS HOTT!!!!!

U-No-WhO-I-aM: ...GAARA IS HOTT LIKE THE DESERT HE FRIGGIN' LIVES IN:)

I-daNcE-I-daNcE-I-daNcE: ROFL! That is sooooooooooooooooooooooo true... BUT **SASUKE IS BETTER!!**

U-No-WhO-I-aM: ...I disagree, but refuse to cat fight with Mrs. G sitting right there.

**SASUKE FANGIRL V.S. GAARA OTAKU-FANGIRL...THING...**

**ROUND TWO!**

**FIGHT!**

I-daNcE-I-daNcE-I-daNcE: Good choice, besides I would win. (J/K) :P

U-No-WhO-I-aM: OH NO YOU DIDN'T!!! **FANGIRL FIGHT!!!!!**

I-daNcE-I-daNcE-I-daNcE: **SASUKE IS SOO FCKING HOT I CAN BARLEY STAND IT!!!!! **(fangirl squeals)

U-No-WhO-I-aM: **GAARA IS KOOL LIKE ICE CREAM! GAARA OF THE DESSERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**SASUKE FANGIRL V.S. GAARA OTAKU-FANGIRL...THING...**

**ROUND THREE!**

**FIGHT!**

I-daNcE-I-daNcE-I-daNcE: roflmfao, you are CRAZY...But I'm such a big fangirl I can CRUSH you!!!

U-No-WhO-I-aM: BUT I HAVE OTAKU POWAH!!!!!! GO OTAKU!!!!! RAWR!!! I destroy cities and eat babies!

I-daNcE-I-daNcE-I-daNcE: So does Orochimaru.

U-No-WhO-I-aM: CRAP!!!!! X-X (PWNED)

I-daNcE-I-daNcE-I-daNcE: **I WIN!!!**

U-No-WhO-I-aM: This time, but I'll be BACK!!! ...Eventually. As soon as I come up with another "witty" similie.

_And that was the end of the Epic Fangirl Battle!!!_

_...Or was it a Fangirl-Otaku Battle?_

_OH WELL!!!_

_The moral of this story is..._

_(1) Orochimaru doesn't "destroy cities" he __**tries **__to._

_(2) Pie is __**NOT **__I repeat...__**is NOT**__ a fruit, but is in fact a pastry._

_and (3) ...GAARA IS BETTER THAN SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_Ahem... anyway..._

_Anyway, I'll give _U-No-WhO-I-aM _five points for insulting the math teacher. _U-No-WhO-I-aM _gets two more points for saying "W00T to the exponent of three", but I'm going to have to take three points off for her not knowing what _roflmaotih! _means... One point for bringing up doughnuts, and two more points for coming up with reasons why Itachi is gay instead of just saying it. A point for not starting a catfight on the bus, and disagree-ing like an adult. Another five points for ALL the original (unusual) comparisons..._

_But minus five points for getting PWNED!!!_

**So, ****U-No-WhO-I-aM will be awarded 8 points, cuz I said so!**

_Meanwhile, _I-daNcE-I-daNcE-I-daNcE _gets two points for knowing roflmaotih! and five points for explaining it nicely! Two points for agreeing Gaara is hot, but minus six because she said Sasuke was better:( I shall also subtract two points because she made me boost the rating when she said, "SASUKE IS SOO FCKING HOT" But, I'll stop being so stingy and give her two more points for saying "I can CRUSH you!!!" and five for winning._

**Therefore, I-daNcE-I-daNcE-I-daNcE has 8 points total!!!**

**Meaning this whole thing was a tie unless someone gives one of them more points...IN A REVIEW!!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!**

**.OWARI.**


	2. ANTIFangirls!

How Many Times Has THIS Happened to YOU

**How Many Times Has THIS Happened to YOU?**

_This Mock-umentary By:_ _.Blood.Engel.Yuzuki._ _&_ _SakuratheDancer(AKA Saki)_

Summary: A series of epic, RANDOM NARUTO STUFF...starting with fangirl and/or Otaku battles! WHY AM I WRITING THIS?! WHAT'S WITH THE QUESTIONS?! humor crack fic.

**I don't own Naruto, and you know it!!**

**Two: ANTI-Fangirls? (Part 1)**

Introduction: The following contains scenes of anti-fangirl-ness and valid (plus not-so-valid) opinions. Please keep children away from the screen. The authors will not in anyway be held responsible for child corruption and stupid stunts.

PLEASE DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME. …. ….

No, seriously!

WE'RE BEGGING YOU, PLEASE!!

WE DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO GET SUED AGAIN!!

…Ahem. On with the fic.

DIE-itachi-DIE!! Says: duuude….ITACHI SUX!!

ITaChI-isn't-ALL-tHAt-baD says: ……..ok. But who do you think is WORSE?! ITACHI OR MADARA?!

DIE-itachi-DIE!! Says: ugh….Itachi…by far

ITaChI-isn't-ALL-tHAt-baD says: Are you FO'SHIZZLE?! Madara is sooooooooo worse!

DIE-itachi-DIE!! Says: well I'll prove my point to you then. It is (shivers) Itachi's fault that Sasuke became corrupted, focused so hard on training that he didn't HAVE a childhood, leave the village, and end up hated by almost EVERYONE! It's all Itachi's fault! If he weren't such a—urg!—Sasuke would have been happy, and liked by everyone. I mean face it. Before the Sasuke Retrival arc, everyone LOVED Sasuke

_(All you hopeless Sasuke fangirls may now cue your stupid little pink hearts and happy dance:) )_

ITaChI-isn't-ALL-tHAt-baD says: Okay, first of all: killing the clan? ALL MADARA'S IDEA! ITACHI SAYS SO! (ignore the fact he is not really trustworthy as he would rather kill you and eat your liver than talk with you) Plus, Itachi didn't have a childhood either! He was pushed and pushed by his clan to become a prodigy and then they all blamed him for doing exactly what they wanted—he became strong. But then they had to go all WE FEAR YOU!! And as for everyone loving Sasuke (shiver, shiver, convulse) their love for him was totally fake! They couldn't even tell you his favorite colour! (what is it anyway?? O.o)

DIE-itachi-DIE!! Says: Ok, I'm going to start at the beginning. First: I will not ignore that fact. You practically brought up another advantage for me. Itachi is a murderer, so there is absolutely NO reason to trust him!! That guy killed off the entire clan to get the Mangekyo, not because Madara said so! I mean, too word it how you are saying it, did Itachi just tell Sasuke "I didn't do it!! Madara made me!! (cries)"?! no! He decided, "Oh, I need to be stronger, so I'm going to kill off my entire clan!!" But we don't even know if that is true. For all we know is he was all drunk with his friend one day, and his friend says "duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude….i totally like…think we should (hick)..play truth or dare…or something…" and Itachi was all like "duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude….hey-yeah….ok, you start" "Truth…or dare…(almost falls over)" "uhhhhhhhhhhhh….duuuuuude….i totally pick (hick)…dare" "Ok dude..hmm…" (30 minutes later) "I totally dare you to like….kill everyone in your family…or something……but not Sasuke…I plan to use him for..(hick)………other things (shifty pervert eyes)….." And so Itachi killed everyone..and when Sasuke found him……. Sasuke: "Brother HOW COULD YOU!! Why did you do it onii-san!? WHY?!" Itachi: "…..i was dared to do it" Sasuke: "WHATTTTT?! I'M NOW AN ORPHAN…BECAUSE OF A DARE?!" Itachi:"….well I have a reputation when it comes to dares. I wasn't gonna break it this time" Seeeeeeeee!! Point proven. _(A/N: O.o) _We don't know what really happened and what his real motive is. Therefore you can't claim that "it was all Madara's idea

ITaChI-isn't-ALL-tHAt-baD says: **STFU****!! WHAT DID YOU FRIGGIN DO, JUST WRITE A MINI-FANFICTION THERE?!** WOW. Sigh. No, just no. **you really haven't proven anything by twisting plot lines**. But continue………….er, rather….please don't (p.s. ARE YOU SUGGESTING ITACHI-CHAN GOES DRINKING WITH OROCHIMARU?!)

DIE-itachi-DIE!! Says: Your mean!! T.T…..(and yes, that is what I am implying xDD) all I was saying was that, we don't exactly know what was going through Itachi's head, when he was killing everybody!!…but onto my next point…and no interrupting!! Point 2: Itachi wasn't pushed to be a prodigy…or rather, that was never proven. You just pulled that away as an educated guess. Not all geniuses were pushed to do it. For all we know, it could have been pure luck! Point 3: They never pretended to "love" Sasuke…….any ways, as I was saying, Sasuke was always under pressure because "Itachi is a prodigy!!" They always expected big things from Sasuke, thus he never was appreciated for what he did get done. There…I'm done now (deep breath)

ITaChI-isn't-ALL-tHAt-baD says: yeah, okays. I agree with pieces; Itachi did know exactly what he was doing. However, you can't blame Itachi for leaving an image that was difficult to live up to. It's not his fault he's talented, misunderstood, and emotionally deranged. It really, really isn't. And Fukaku (Sasuke and Itachi's dad) actually is all "woe is me!" and explaining how he pushed Itachi too hard and made him cold before the massacre. So Itachi really was forced to be a bloody prodigy. (FUKAKU SUX!) And as for them expecting big things for Sasuke: I think that was actually good for him. Recall how his father never really seemed to care or expect any thing from him until Itachi went all: GRRRRR! ANGST!! Plus, Sasuke wouldn't accept anything less from himself. :P

DIE-itachi-DIE!! Says: I agree with the whole "it isn't his fault" part….however, if Itachi was having a melt-down he could've just got on strike or something for them to give him some slack…."my parents pushed me to hard" is not a good explanation for eliminating the Uchiha clan off of the face of the earth!! As for Sasuke….he felt pressured because his father wouldn't even look his way unless he surpassed Itachi…which was, by this point, near impossible….Though I've realized that all of the trouble keeps leading back to Fukaku…Maybe we should bash him

ITaChI-isn't-ALL-tHAt-baD says: I'm totally cool with that. But let me tell you my reason for hating Madara first! :D

DIE-itachi-DIE!! Says: well alrighty then….but just know that, as soon as your done I'm going to prove you wrong xP

ITaChI-isn't-ALL-tHAt-baD says: How can you prove me wrong if it's just an opinion, silly? Anyhow, Madara can ultimately be traced to more than just the Uchiha Massacre! He was the one who summoned Kyuubi. Therefore ruining poor Naruto-chan's life!! SOB SOB! Poor Naruto!! (Celebrates our newfound hatred of Fukaku!!)

DIE-itachi-DIE!! Says: ….: (…..anyways….sure, its true that he summoned Kyuubi…but soon after that, he went into hiding and stopped. Besides, he actually can't be traced to the Uchiha Massacre…as I've said a million times by now, we don't really know what was going threw Itachi's head when he was doing it…so theres no proof that Madara was linked to it at all. I mean, how would it benefit him?! It only benefited Itachi…but lets just stop here…I'm getting tired of debating this over and over again. I bet if we kept going, we could shoot back comments for hours on end…I think 2 hours is long enough to debate one subject…..though this was really fun

ITaChI-isn't-ALL-tHAt-baD says: whatever. You're right, my brain is tired of thinking up applicable arguments (why can't problems just be solved by mindless violence?!) Shall we call it a draw?

DIE-itachi-DIE!! Says: yeah…we shall….anyways….lets call it a night

ITaChI-isn't-ALL-tHAt-baD says: Okay. SHALL WE?! WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS?!

DIE-itachi-DIE!! Says: WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS?!

ITaChI-isn't-ALL-tHAt-baD says: WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIE-E-NDS?!

BOTH: THE COLO(U)R OF YOUR SKIN DON'T MATTER TO ME-E-E!! AS LONG AS WE CAN LIVE IN HARMON-Y-Y-Y!!(Singing while skipping off into the sunset)

Gai: LEE!! LOOK AT THAT PRECIOUS DISPLAY OF YOUTH!!

Lee: HAI, GAI-SENSEL!! (Inner Lee: WHY DIDN'T WE THINK OF THAT?!)

Yeah, ya know what. This conversation is so stupid, neither of these people deserve a rating. YOU BOTH LOOSE!! MWAHAHAHAHHAAHHHHAAAAAAAAA!! FEAR ME FOR I HAVE MICROSOFT WORD!!

(DIE-itachi-DIE!! And ITaChI-isn't-ALL-tHAt-baD slowly walk foreword, butcher knives in hand………)

**Please leave this page before it is too late!**

**o.o**

**(They will steal your souls!) RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!**


	3. You Lack

How Many Times Has THIS Happened to YOU

**How Many Times Has THIS Happened to YOU?**

_This Mock-umentary By:_

_.Blood.Engel.Yuzuki._

Summary: A series of epic, RANDOM NARUTO STUFF...now with just random skits instead of the endless cat fights! WHY AM I WRITING THIS?! WHAT'S WITH THE QUESTIONS?! humor crack fic.

**I don't own Naruto (or the Family Feud), and you know it!!**

**Three: You Lack...**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Good bye, The End.

Jiraiya: Hello everybody, and welcome to today's Episode of Family Feud!! And HERE'S YOUR HOST, SAKURA!!

Sakura: Hi everyone! Today we have the Uchiha Family. Two rival brothers battle it out in a war of wits instead of just mindlessly trying to incinerate each other!(y'know, the **fun** way) Here are our contestants...Sasuke Uchiha!!

Sasuke: Hn.

Sakura: And...Itachi Uchiha!!

Itachi: ...You lack the customary curves of all hostesses...

Sakura: ...Owch. Ether way, the rules are these; You have to state something the other lacks, and you can't repeat anything, and you have one minute. Oh, yeah, and let's try to keep it PG.

Sasuke: AW FU--

_Viewer at Home: Mommy, what does that word mean?_

_Other Viewer at Home: ... ... ..._

Sakura: Well, it's too late for that. Let's just get on with it.

**FAMILY FEUD!!**

Itachi: You lack hatred.

Sasuke: You lack a chicken-butt hair cut.

Itachi: You lack an IQ over 20.

Sasuke: (Random Pink Hearts appear in Sasuke's eyes.) YOU LACK LOOOOOOOOOOOVE!!

Itachi: You lack being straight...

Sasuke: YOU LACK A SEXUALITY AT ALL!!

Itachi: You lack power.

Sasuke: You lack a girlfriend!

Itachi: (stares at Sakura)

Sakura: ... ... ... H-heh heh heh...

Sasuke: …! (Thinking: NOOOOOOO, not Sakura!!)

Itachi: You lack pie.

Sasuke: (Thinking: OH NO HE DI'INT!!) YOU LACK..(Thinking: Cool clothes? No, he has that. Good looks? Crap, he has that! Uh... FANGIRLS?! NOOOO, HE HAS THAT!! Is there anything I have that he doesn't?!) ...! YOU LACK EMO-NESS!!

Itachi: ... ... ...You lack fanboys.

Kisame, Deidara and Tobi: WE LOVE YOU ITACHI-KUUUUUUUUUN!!

Sasuke: AHEM!

Orochimaru: Oooooooooh Sasuke-kuuuuuuuuuun!!

Itachi: I said FANBOYS. As in PLURAL.

Sasuke: ...Eh...Kabuto?

Kabuto: I'm sorry. I'm Ken's forever... (Holds up Ken doll and decapitated Barbie)

Sasuke: O.O You lack...you lack...uh...You lack...A VILLAGE!!

Itachi: You lack loyalty.

Sasuke: XD So do you!

Itachi: At least I'm faithful to Akatsuki...And Sakura.

Sasuke: YOU LACK FRIENDS!!

Itachi: ...You do too...

Naruto: SASUKE, YOU SUCK CHICKEN A--!!

_Viewer at Home: How about that word?_

_Other Viewer at Home: ... ... ..._ (turns off TV)

Itachi: See?

Sasuke: I know **you** don't you blind Bast--

_Viewer at Home: WOW, WHAT ABOUT THAT WORD?!_

_Other Viewer at Home: I THOUGH I TURNED THAT THING OFF!!_

Itachi: You lack respect for your elders, saying that to your big brother.

Sasuke: You lack a large pole up your A--

_Viewer at Home: This is getting old..._

Itachi: You lack the ability to admit you just lost.

Sasuke: I DO NOT!!

Sakura: Sasuke, you just proved what he said.

Sasuke: AW SHI--

_Other Viewer at Home: I'd better be getting paid over-time for this._

Sakura: All right, now let's calculate the score!!

Other Viewer Who Was At Home But Is Now On Stage: Yeah, yeah, Itachi won; we all know it! Now where's my paycheck?!

Sakura: ...About that...

Other Viewer Who Was At Home But Is Now On Stage: WHAT?! YOU BI--

_Viewer at Home: ...What am I still doing here?_

**THE END!!**

For now... O.o 


End file.
